| Dig: If you live in New York or any other big city, you are Jewish. It doesn't even matter if you're Catholic; if you live in New York, you're Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you're going to be goyish even if you are Jewish.
Kool-Aid is goyish. Evaporated milk is goyish even if the Jews invented it. Chocolate is Jewish and fudge is goyish. Fruit salad is Jewish. Lime Jell-O is goyish. Lime soda is very goyish.
Underwear is definitely goyish. Balls are goyish. Titties are Jewish.
-Lenny Bruce |
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| "if it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
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| little cousins and toddler tikes up for chinese new year. the same kid who stuck my bunny down a flower vase. got to get to baby-proofing my GI joes and barbie dolls. |
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| when it comes to "meeting the parents", my dad has the best story hands down. "your grandma tried to kill me with a tang yuan the size of a tennis ball," he says. my dad, an immensely strong, brave, and awesome guy, is deathly afraid of tang yuans. as if the darn things are going to strangle him in his sleep. honestly. and so on the fateful day when he first meets my moo's parents, my grandma unwittingly decided to serve the one thing he hates most. "it was a tennis ball sized tang yuan" my dad reminds me. eager to impress, he plops the thinger into his mouth (how does anyone plop a tennis ball in his mouth? he's exaggerating i tell you!) and to this day maintains he could of choked to death.
...and it all started with a tang yuan. happy 20th anniversary guys. |
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| strong badlibs:
my idiot brother jimmy is such a kong pow chicken! when i sneezed him, he shimmies. when he loses a lip balm, he shimmies. when i call him a kong pow chicken, he shimmies!! i hate my idiot brother jimmy. |
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